1. If your close friends all seem to have gone prematurely hard of hearing.

2. If your first thought when looking at shoes in shop windows is that the buckles are too small.

3. If “polish my bell” doesn’t sound like an innuendo to you.

4. If you can order a pint on a Saturday night whilst standing ten feet from the bar.

5. If you think adding feathers improves any hat

6. Also corners.

7. If you like the idea of shouting at strangers without getting arrested.

8. If you can agree to pose for 200 selfies in a day without ever dropping your smile

9. If you always wear a pirate costume to fancy dress parties

10. If you love your hometown and want to share it with people from all over the world.

If all the above apply to you, why not contact your town hall and ask about becoming your home town’s official town crier.